The great big suicide window in fishbowl.
Jumping off of high stuff has always been one of the more romantic methods of self destruction. Why do you think so many people take a running jump of the golden gate?
Enough time at any newspaper, college or otherwise, inspires suicidal daydreams, and it seems the architects of Dwight Bentel Hall knew this well. Thus, they made it so the window in the room known as “fishbowl,” a title I’ve never understood, inspires flying leaps.
Just look.
Jump through me. I swear, it looks more inviting in person.
When this window is flung open and you’re standing on the other side of the room, the thought, however fleeting, of hurdling toward the window and taking a swan dive occasionally pops into the old noggin.
Not that it wouldn’t be the most ineffective form of suicide ever. It’s only a couple of stories up. You’d probably just end up with a sprained ankle or a hangnail.
The Wizzard of the Daily, a large, plush, scary-beyond-all-reason likeness of a medieval magician that mysteriously showed up sometime between 2008 and now, supposedly leapt out of the window — but, y’know, we all suspected foul play (Tommy pushed the bastard).
Oh sure, it’s easy to say I must be crazy for entertaining, even momentarily, the thought of a self-terminating, 12-foot drop, but consider this scenario:
It’s 10:15 p.m., and the only stories that have hit the copy editors’ folder are two opinion pieces. They were about boy bands. After cleaning up the vomit produced by having to read about 98 Degrees, you wait.
And wait.
There is an apparent roadblock on stories, and you realize that you are not going to see anything else until about 11. Then, you will have to wait for these stories to hit the page. Then, you will have to read them again on the page. And you’re out of coffee, and the realization that you’ll be there until at least 2 in the morning is setting in, and you’re already thinking about how you’re going to have to link every story to twitter, lovely twitter …
Hey, look — it’s a window.
Agh. Why isn't this damn thing higher?
Tags: Dwight Bentel Hall, fishbowl, Spartan Daily
